by in Love

The first thing our little one asked when he woke up that morning was, "Is the baby still growing?" To which I said yes, but that we have to take it day by day. By 11:00AM, I am already noticing some spotting and by dinnertime, I am already bleeding out. The last thing our boy asked before his day ended was if we lost our baby already. To which I whimper and admitted the truth and then kissed him goodnight...

There are lots of things I want to write about the topic of miscarriage: from all the insensitivity and meanness I received but also the kindness from friends and families; to the negative feelings and emotions I have towards it which included anger and sadness; to the struggle of being healthy and believing my ability to conceive among others...

However one morning, as our little boy was saying his usual bye-bye (before he goes to daycare) while hugging me, he said,

"Mama, when you get home from work and I get home school, don't worry because I will still be here."

It's a realization from a little child telling me that he is there and that he will never leave... That I am able and capable to breathe life to a very beautiful child. And that's all that matters for now even when I am grieving.

With so much love,



  1. Anne August 26, 2015 Reply

    You are such a beautiful person with a very kind heart. Our family is praying with you and your family and God bless for having a child with that kind of wisdom. You are doing something right with him even though you may feel like everything is going wrong.

    • Joyce DZ
      Joyce DZ August 31, 2015 Reply

      Thank you so much, Anne!

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