“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13
I still remember the first time I picked the yarns (of pink, blue, purple and white), started crocheting and being filled with so much excitement. I worked on it nonstop, watched it take shape until we had to leave for the Philippines to visit my family for a Christmas vacation. It sat there until our return… or even way longer than what it should have, unfinished, because the life that blanket I was trying to make for, was taken away from us earlier than what we would have wanted.
While silently grieving, I initially worked on it half-heartedly as my mind and hands needed something to get occupied with. I made tons of mistakes, I pulled the yarns back and started over from where the error took place. It taught me focus and patience as I still longed for it to be perfect just the same as our unborn child that we wouldn’t be able to hold and see. I have learned that moving forward was the only way I can see the beauty of it. I cried and wept with this little warm blanket as it seemed to respond with comfort, assurance and love that all will be well. And eventually, it did. I call this beautiful creation the hope blanket as it gave me what I needed the most during those trying times in my life.
On this Mother’s Day, I am finally parting with it (the memories stay with me) — to give someone the same comfort that it gave me; to lift up another mother who had lost a pregnancy; (or) to someone who has the desire to be a mother but struggles with infertility; (or) to a woman needing patience and understanding and for my little angel to watch over you and remind you that there’s hope… always.
The only thing I will ask is for you to share your stories (or nominate someone) in the comment box so that we can help women who struggle with miscarriages, infertility or any hardships with motherhood realize that they aren’t utterly alone in this world. I will pick one woman in random (because all stories are beautiful no matter how it is told).
Happy Mother’s Day!
P.S. If you are wondering why I won’t keep this for Eli, it’s because I made one for him, too and that stays with him. 🙂
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